Do you want to know things about the authors that may or may not be true? Do you have an urge to waste your precious free time patting the authors on the back, or berating the authors for their opinions? This is the place!
Rocha
Owner of this hot dog cart and all-around stunning individual, Rocha has been a Rangers fan for most of his 36 years and has been writing about them on the internet since 1995. When not watching one of his favorite teams (Rangers, Jets, Mets, Rutgers) All of his teams suck and he hates sports, so instead of doing that, he is almost certainly watching one of his 5,000 DVDs, or saving a baby from a burning building instead.
Ben (Greatone)
Currently a college student majoring in sports management, Ben tries vigorously to contribute to the “culture” of Rangerland with logical and well thought out ideas. He enjoys long walks on the beach and strangling hookers. In addition to writing here at Rangerland, Ben is an expert on mixed martial arts and can be seen regularly at various UFC fight nights. He attends school in Boston but makes his permanent home on Long Island.
Calvin (Kusand)
Part truth, part fiction, the story of Calvin is akin to a campfire tale, used by academic advisors nationwide to warn undergraduates of the perils of graduate education. According to legend, Calvin was once a promising researcher at the nation’s leading barber college, and his work on the Mandibulo-Follicular Acceleratrix was considered to be on the razor’s edge of the beardular sciences. However, he became consumed by his work – literally. The Flobee that served as the heart of the machine gained self-awareness and turned on its master. Calvin spent weeks submerged in a tank of Barbicide while top scientists from Mitchell and Sassoon University tried to piece him together again. Despite the heroic measures taken to save him, Calvin is now less a man than a sentient beard. Worse yet, his project was shelved – forcing him out of his academic ivory tower, and into that most dreaded of places, the “real world” and “gainful employment.” Today, he skulks in a darkened corner of the Internet like a Cyber-Onceler, righting wrongs, seeking out the rumored Grecian Formula that will restore him to his previous state, and being generally contrarian and disagreeable. His beardness does however, make him a great analyst come playoff time.
Cliff (rightbug)
Like George Clooney only sexier, Cliff is a New Yorker who has spent the last 18 years under deep cover in New England where it is feared he is going native. Though he may spend his days drinking shots of maple syrup and digging bear shit out of his boot treads, Cliff remains fiercely loyal to his New York teams — the Rangers, Giants, Yankees and Knicks. Cliff is one of only 75 people to have seen a Macronesian Shearwater in US territorial waters. He eats a bowl of nails for breakfast, pisses hydrochloric acid, impregnates women with a glance and is probably the most warm and fuzzy person on the forums.
Derek (Dr. D)
Derek is a lifelong Ranger fan and pessimist who loves nothing more than ripping the team apart one moment and embracing them the next. Born in a state where hockey fans are as rare as an intelligent person who watches VH1, he’s been able to follow the Rangers religiously for the past few seasons thanks to the interweb. In his spare time, Derek enjoys taking catnaps, writing witty short stories, and dangling babies off of balconies.
Greg K. (gkrangers)
Can someone write my paragraph for me?
Jason (Puckforbrains)
Jason was born and raised in Northern New Jersey in a small town. He was educated in a small town while being taught the fear of Jesus in that same small town. He used to daydream in small town – yes, just another boring romantic – thats him. So, he’s gonna die in a small town. Thats probably where they’ll bury him — in a Rangers jersey. Next to Jack and Diane.
Jen B. (jburns)
Currently a litigation paralegal, Jennifer will sue your ass in a second if you insult her. An avid Rangers fan and, conversely, a rabid Red Sox fan, she clearly has allegiance issues but will defend them both to the death. Recently, she has proven herself to be more valuable than Leedsy’s ex-girlfriends and, with that, plans to end world hunger and solve the health-care crisis. Jennifer lives in New Jersey with her two kick-ass cats.
Jen C. (xcheck24)
A Connecticut native now living in New Jersey, Jen not only plays a journalist on the Internet, she is one in real life. A reporter and editor for over a decade, Jen is now wrapped up in online journalism with a mysterious media company in the tri-state area. In addition to rooting for the Rangers, she’s a recovering Hartford Wolf*Pack ticket plan holder and a tortured Mets fan.
Jerry (alitaki)
Born and raised in Astoria, N.Y., Jerry would have been an NHL superstar if his poor immigrant parents had known what hockey was when they moved to the United States. Super stud and all around “good guy,” Jerry is a master of useless information and the art of the scowl. Jerry currently resides in Astoria with his wife and can be found frequenting the various cafe’s of the area.
Leedsy99
Born with the courage of an eagle, the strength of a black tiger and the power of a god, Leedsy99 administers justice two curled fists at a time. If Rangerland were the Ocean’s 11 series, he’d be a combination of George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon and that little Asian dude with the ninja prowess.
Marie (Ree)
A Rangers fan since birth, Marie grew up in historic West New York, New Jersey – where she learned how to speak Spanish before she learned how to speak fluent English. Finally putting her St. Peter’s College education to good use (kind of), Marie works as a Sales Manager in sports licensing and hopes to one day be responsible for the misspelling of Vincent Lacavalier’s name on a t-shirt or jersey. When she’s not training to be a professional (midget) wrestler, she is spending time with her friends and family. Not only is Ree currently working on an autobiography, entitled Sleeping with the Enemy: A Guide to Dating Fans of Rival Teams, but she’s also planning to purchase the island of Tonga with the money she’s made off of her Star Wars figurine collection. Aside from being a die hard Rangers fan, Ree is also a Steelers fan lost in a sea of Jets & Giants fans, and has recently considered joining the Mets bandwagon in full, not just on the nights that Johan Santana is pitching.
Matt (SATW)
Things to know:
1.) Got the gig cause he likes makin goofy pictures involving the Rangers.
2.) Probably one of the only Ranger fans on the planet who unforgivingly hates Mark Messier.
3.) The only time you’ll ever see him agreeing with someone on the boards is if he’s agreeing to disagree.
4.) It’s probably a good idea not to mention the “Avery Effect” while he’s around. Please.
5.) Also probably best to just go ahead and not talk about the Mets with him while your at it.
6.) Purposely obtuse
Melvin
When not running black-ops missions for the hated Islanders’ “Vukota-92″ security division, Melvin spends a majority of his time basket weaving in Upstate New York. His “kill first, identify later” attitude has won him critics and fans alike within the confines of the Nassau Coliseum faithful. He’s also really good at faking an English accent.
Mike (Mike B.)
Raised on the mean streets of Scarsdale, N.Y., Mike is a (somewhat) avid sports fan who (sort of) passionately follows the Royals (don’t ask), Rangers, Raiders, Saints, and Knicks, and despises the Yankees with every molecule in his body. In other words, he really loves a winner. Mike also finds Jen B.’s threats laughable, as everyone knows that paralegals aren’t much use other than for a strong cup of coffee and an occasional back rub.
Sed
The product of a 1970s DARPA project gone horribly useless, Sed has all of the answers to the questions that people neither ask nor care to have answered. Ever see Real Genius? That Lazlo guy, who lived in Val Kilmer’s closet? Yeah. Sed’s the Rangerland equivalent. Nobody’s really sure what he does or why he’s here. Someday, Sed will probably do something important – or not. Either way, you can be certain that it will involve a montage featuring music by an obscure 1980s new wave act.
