Before/After: The Dubinsky Signing

Before/After: The Dubinsky Signing

Rangers fans before Dubinsky signed a new deal:

“What is Douchebinsky thinking? I heard he wants $100 million for 10 years. For 40 points? He was invisible. Plus I heard he drowned a basket of puppies last week in the Hudson River. What kind of heartless asshole does that? He’s also the guy who fixed the election in Iran. We shouldn’t be protesting the Iranian government on Twitter. We should be protesting Dubinsky! Change your avatar to blue to show your support against him. Patrick Swayze’s pancreatic cancer was all Dubinsky’s fault too. It’s time to trade him. Those third round draft picks are so important. Besides, Dubinsky will be nothing but problems for this team for years to come.”

Rangers fans after the Dubinsky signing (and more likely after he scores his first goal):

“Dubinsky is the best young player this team has ever had come through the system. Sather is an idiot to not give him a five year deal. He’s going to be the next Jean Ratelle! This team will be nothing without him. I heard last week he saved a woman tied to the train tracks. And he saved 100 dolphins from the Japanese fisherman during the offseason. He’s almost got the cure to Cancer figured out. The Rangers should never ever ever trade him. This team will become a dynasty and win a bunch of Stanley Cups because of him.”