Friday Five: Marian Gaborik

Friday Five: Marian Gaborik

Every Friday we sit down with a member of the Rangers family and ask them five questions. This week we almost score the first exclusive interview with the newest free agent messiah, Marian Gaborik.

Q: Welcome to another installment of Friday Five!  This week we’re ecstatic to land the first interview with the Rangers big free agent acquisition, Marian Gaborik. So please welcome … WHAT THE?!!  SEAN AVERY?!!  What are you doing here?

SA: Helllllloooooo, New York!!! [Waves to no one.]

Q: Get out of here!!! What are you doing?!!

SA: I’m doing a cameo, douche. All the celebrities do it. [Waves again to no one.]

Q: This isn’t live TV, ass.  There’s no one else here anyway.  Get out of here! We’re supposed to interview Marian Gaborik?  Where is he?

SA: F**k if I know. Why would you want to interview him anyway?

Q: Because the Rangers signed him yesterday to a multiyear deal.  He’s going to save our franchise.  Don’t you pay attention to these things?  You do care about this team, right?

SA: Of course I care, knobslob! My blood bleeds Rangers blue! I knew about that deal like, weeks ago. I was just testing you. Go ahead and ask me what I think of the deal.  Go ahead.  Ask me.

Q: Jesus. Fine. Sean Avery, what do you think of the Marian Gaborik deal?

SA: What do I think? I think it’s awesome!  He’s an incredible player and a great teammate. This is a phenomenal move. We’ll compete for a Cup, for sure. He’s the perfect complement player for Scott Gomez.

END OF INTERVIEW