There are plenty of rumors flying about Dany Heatley coming to the Rangers. What could he do to improve the Rangers if he were traded here?
- Score more goals than any other chump on this team put up last season.
- Take a whole buttload of shots, since obviously taking 6th most in the league isn’t enough for the Rangers.
- Score on a shot TWICE AS OFTEN AS THE AVERAGE RANGER.
- Actually give the Rangers a forward who deserves to be at the All-Star Game.
- Provide that speedy skill winger Scott Gomez fantasizes about at night.
- Show Nik Zherdev how the hell you score on a power play.
- Show Nik Zherdev how to put up an abysmal +/- to round out your fan ambivalence.
- Commiserate with his new teammates about how sometimes you just have to quit on a coach you don’t like.
- Can teach Henrik Lundqvist how to get to the Finals before choking.
- Give Wade Redden and his contract a ride home from work.
- His face can provide new Flyer Chris Pronger with a soft landing pad for elbows.
Goody gumdrops! Get it done, Sather. I can’t wait!
