This Is Why I Hate All Of You

This Is Why I Hate All Of You

I hate sports fans. What a bunch of ninnies. The Rangers just traded a third-round pick for former first-round pick Brian Boyle. Almost immediately, armchair GMs in forums here and elsewhere are already bitching, comparing the guy to Hugh Jessiman, calling him soft, complaining about the loss of a “potentially high third round pick,” and so on. Please, fucking spare me! It was a third round pick!

Some quick facts about third round picks*, specifically all 263 of them from 1994 to 2002:

  1. Almost half of all third round picks don’t even make it to the NHL.
  2. Only 20% of all third round picks play 200 NHL games, which indicates at least some modicum of talent that enables them to stick around.
  3. EVERY one of these non-goalie third round picks have combined to score a total of 8200 points; the top 20 scorers of these picks account for almost 5500 of those points. That means the other 91% of these picks average slightly over 10 points in their entire career.

At least this a former first rounder, and he’s been in the NHL at all, which is more than you can say for most 3rd round picks. He’s managed 8 goals in 36 NHL games, and that’s a better goal-scoring clip than a lot of so-called talented youngsters on the Rangers managed last season (I’m looking at you, Nigel Dawes and Brandon Dubinsky. And you too, Petr, Lauri, and Freddie.) He put up a good mix of scoring with 31 goals and 31 assists in the AHL last year too, in 70 games.

And you’re bitching about losing a 3rd round pick? The median third round pick has a less spectacular career than Jozef Balej, who I think as Ranger fans we can all remember did not turn out to be a dynamo. In short, I really don’t care that the Rangers gave up a 3rd round pick, and neither should you. Go get a nice dinner and shut up about third round picks.

* Facts retrieved using the NHL Draft Spreadsheet of the Gods, for which everyone should go find PPP’s daoust and give him a big sloppy kiss.