Every Friday we sit down with a member of the Rangers family and ask them five questions. This week we’re exiled in the Land of Mordor with Rangers hobbit forward Petr Prucha.
Q: ‘Sup, dude. Why the long face?
PP: I am no playing. Coach Tom has banished me from ice. I take hits and work hard at practice, but Rangers no want me to play. It make Petr Prucha sad.
Q: Bummer. Have you thought about scapegoating someone?
PP: I no think so. What is, you say, escape-goating?
Q: Scapegoating. It’s awesome. Basically you blame someone other than yourself for your current problems. Athletes and fans do it all the time. For example, Chris Drury isn’t scoring right now, and that’s pretty much his sucky fault. But with a little scapegoating magic, we can blame his struggles on the pressure of his new captaincy, the lack of talented players around him, or even the failure of the coaching staff to put him in successful situations that best use his skills. That’s scapegoating. It’s pretty cool, right?
PP: Sound good. But who should I blame?
Q: I dunno. Tom Renney. Perry Pearn. Gary Bettman. The government. The Iraqi government. The poor economy. The liberal media. Madonna. Guy Richie. Alex Rodriguez. You can blame anyone. Sky’s the limit. Who ya gonna blame, dude?
PP: Can I blame Jews?
Q: Um, I guess. But I gotta warn you, it’s kinda racist to blame large ethnic groups for the fact that you can’t get ice time on a professional hockey team. You should stick to people that are going to be less sensitive about blinding and irrational hate. Total douchebags are always good. Know any total douchebags?
PP: Just Sean Avery.
END OF INTERVIEW