So. We arrive at one of the most unpublicized, unromantic, uninteresting franchises in the league, which is odd, because they enjoy some of the best fan support, and have built a decent little club for themselves. I couldn’t even come up with a good lead-in for this column. How does one crack wise about the Wild? I think I had a good idea when I first signed up for this…
Anyway. The big news, of course, is the off-season trade of Manny Fernandez to the Bruins for Petr Kalus, a highly-valued prospect winger. Minny GM Doug Risebrough obviously thinks Nicklas Backstrom showed enough in his abbreviated stint last year to carry the full load.
This might be one of those rare NHL trades that fits perfect needs for both teams involved – Boston gets their #1 guy, and the Wild get an exciting prospect that can provide some scoring depth up front behind Marian Gaborik and an aging Brian Rolston. This trade is especially timely, as leading scorer Brian Bellows hasn’t been the same since he was called a bunch of mean things by Bryan Trottier and a crackhead whoremonger.
As an aside – know what always gets me about that clip? What exactly did Trottier find insulting about that crack he slipped in at the end? We should all be so lucky to be called such a thing, I’d say.
Meanwhile, the Wild are apparently unhappy with the NHL’s relatively scandal-free summer, and are doing their part to up the dirtbag-i-ness of the league. There’s the offseason signing of Sean Hill, the first player to be suspended under the new CBA’s performance-enhancing drug policy. And enforcer Derek Boogaard, probably the most feared fighter in the league, held a camp this summer in which he taught young kids the proper way to thrash each other’s skulls.
Insert inappropriate dog fighting joke here. I hear that the lads who lose their first tussle are electrocuted and hung from the rafters of the Xcel Center, after which their lifeless carcasses are dragged around the ice with the Zamboni. Kidding, of course, but the real details are just soooo boring.
Random Fact: Kalus scored his first three career goals on his first three shots in the league, which is of course totally relevant to something. I think.
Prediction: Tough division, brutal conference. 15-18-29-20. (What. They still have ties, don’t they?) The Wild will beat the Stars, Blue Jackets, Kings, and Oilers a few times each, who might be the only teams in the conference with shallower offenses than theirs. Backstrom steals them a few more, but the wheels fall off right after Gaborik’s groin does the same.
Disclaimer: Hope any of you Wild fans that stumble across this paragon of insight know it’s all in good fun, and the accuracy of any comments contained herein is highly dubious. Besides, any sports fans who also think that Derek Jeter is a d-bag are just fine with me.
Kalus brings a vendetta with him from his homeland – Edmonton defenseman Jaroslav Pummus has vowed to “rub out” Kalus and soften Minnesota’s offensive skin.
I don’t know why but i can’t comment on any of your earlier posts