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Every Friday we sit down with a member of the Rangers family and ask them five questions. This week we’re looking for a happy ending with Rangers massage therapist, Bruce Lifrieri.
Q: Welcome to Friday Five, Bruce, the most important interview column on the entire Internet. So training camps opened yesterday and there’s only one question on the minds of Rangers fans everywhere: Can I have a backrub?
BL: Haha! I get that all the time. But you know, a lot of people don’t appreciate the role that myself and my staff play in keeping the Rangers healthy and flexible during their 80-plus game season. These guys just punish their bodies, night in, night out. And it’s my job to …
Q: Can I have a backrub?
BL: Haha. My job is to provide a complete muscle therapy work and condition their bodies to absorbing the stress and rigors of professional hockey. During my time at the Scherer Academy of Physiotherapy I was exposed to several schools of massage philosophy that …
Q: Can I have a backrub?
BL: That revive … [blah blah blah] … deep impact stress rubs … [blah blah blah] … tension between shoulder joints … [blah blah blah] … invigorated synapses … [blah blah blah] … fingertip pressure through the scapula … [blah blah blah] … resonating magnets … [blah blah blah] … sonic wave impulses … [blah blah blah] … holistic ayurveda techniques … [blah blah blah] … impacting chakras and dosha …
Q: Can I have a backrub?
BL: You know, I don’t think you’ve listened to a word that I’ve said. I am a trained professional that provides a valued service to this hockey club and a crucial member of the training staff. These athletes put their bodies through gruel physical feats of strength and every time they get a bump or a bruise … I am right there to re-energize them and make sure that they are 115% ready for another night of hockey.
Q: Can I have a backrub?
END OF INTERVIEW
